Let’s Catch Up…(Young Adult Life Crisis 101)

Hellooooo Internet!
It has been a really long time!
The last time I decided to update on here feels like a lifetime ago!
I took a one year hiatus and I’ve finally decided to come back, for reals.
Sooo, what was I up to for an entire year?

Around the time that I stopped updating my blog, I was going through a bit of a young adult life crisis
I was nearing the end of my college education in Cosmetics, thinking about job searching, and facing an overall confusing time in my life.
What did I want to do after I graduated? What was I capable of doing after I graduated? How do I give myself the will power to apply for jobs, show up to interviews, and face the great unknown? I had a shopping list of questions that I needed answered, and no one to go to for those answers.
Which is why this catch up post will also be a small “What I learned in my year off the internet” if you will:

1. Do Not Panic
You’d think this point is something that goes without saying, but unfortunately, I needed to hear it, multiple times a day, several days a week.
I think that when someone contemplates their future, it’s very easy to spiral down into a pit of anxiety! When you think about a question where there isn’t a certain specific answer, it’s very normal to start to panic. However, take deep breaths in and out and acknowledge that although you may not know what’s going to happen in the next few months, that everything will be okay and as long as you work towards a goal, things will slowly start to fall into place.

2. Pace Yourself
Ah, the good ol’ “walk before you run” saying.
When I was gearing up for my final exams last April, I remember how overwhelmed I felt. Now, you might be thinking “Jolin, it’s soo normal to feel overwhelmed during exams!” But I think the word overwhelmed was just the tip of the ice burg. I was thinking about my exams, my job, my potential future job etc etc all at once. While I was trying really hard to maintain a calm composure, it became very obvious to the people around me that I was struggling. I remember someone wise telling me that my life was similar to the experience he had with renovating his house. When he bought his house, he tore all the rooms apart to renovate it. However, if he had tore one room down at a time instead of the whole house, he wouldn’t be sleeping in his basement on a mattress waiting for everything to come together. At that time, his example really hit home for me! Remember to tackle one subject at a time, finish it, and then move on. Instead of trying to balance all of them at the same time!

3. Experiment, Experiment, Experiment
When I was younger, I always assumed that life was a continuous flow of events that are as follows:
Elementary School → High School → College → Full time Job
Never had I considered the possibility that in between each step, there could be many other significant steps.
When I was finally coming to terms with myself and accepting that I may possibly not get a job in my field right away, suddenly my perfect path became:
Elementary School → High School → College → ????????? → Full time Job?!
My panic came back in full force and I became ashamed at myself.
Why couldn’t I find a job in my field right away?
Soon afterwards however, I realized that the question marks between College and Full time Job, weren’t in fact, question marks.
They were bullet points! And my list became:
– Travel
– Write
– Read
– Experience
*Not Everyone gets a job in their field right away*
I had to bold that thought, because not a lot of people understand this concept or views this as a positive thing.
It is however, a VERY positive thing.
The time before being employed full time and well, not, means that you, as a person, have a lot more time to experiment and see first hand what you like and don’t like.
You get to be your own boss, work odd jobs, be creative, and see the world!
These experiences are priceless and can’t be done if you have a full time job and you’re dedicating all your time and effort towards it!
So revel in all the free time you have before you are committed to a job! Not having a job straight out of post secondary is a BLESSING in disguise.

4. Take Opportunities
And I mean, ALL of them.
While I was still in school, I submitted a whole bunch of resumes for a variety of different places, even postings that I was considered unqualified for.
A few months after I graduated, I finally received a response.
I went through a process of three interviews and actually landed my first “big girl” job!
It was a position that my interviewer herself explicitly pointed out that there was a possibility that I may not get it due to my lack of experience.
Truth be told, I went to the three interviews not fully confident that I would get it either, but I went to them and did my best because I wanted the interview experience.
I know plenty of people who don’t show up to interviews that they  think they’re unlikely to get the job for, but every single opportunity is a golden opportunity and every single interview is an experience unlike any other before. So hand out all your resumes, apply for all the postings, show up to all the interviews (properly attired and with a smile on your face) and you will slay them, regardless of whether or not you land the job.

5. Set Goals
The previous four points are all very crucial steps to getting where you want to be, but none of them would fall into place without this very very very important step.
Goal setting is not only the best thing to do during a period of confusion, but it should be something that everyone practices on a daily basis for their entire lives.
That being said, it’s also extremely important to not just set goals, but to set REALISTIC goals.
I remember a time a few years back when I was feeling unproductive with my life and decided I would do some goal setting.
I wrote out a list of things that I wanted to improve on in that year and also daily tasks that I would do.
The (semi embarrassing) list looked a little something like this:
– Lose weight
– Sleep Earlier
– Write more
– Read more
– Eat a healthier diet

I think you guys get the point…

On top of that I had my daily tasks:
– Do laundry
– Finish reading The Hunger Games
– Clean Room
– Clean House

Etc etc.

While it was fine that I was putting in some effort to change my life, my life didn’t change at all.
I found myself falling into bad habits and not crossing off anything on my list.
And that’s because I didn’t know how to goal set properly.
Having goals is important because it gives you something to work towards and look forward to. The satisfaction of crossing something off your list or checking a box that you’ve accomplished also feels incredibly rewarding and motivates you to continue to move, strive, and achieve.
So when you set goals that are hard to accomplish and you don’t get to check anything off, it kiiind of has the opposite effect. You feel a sense of shame, worthlessness, and generally like your life isn’t going anywhere.
So why oh why would you set yourself up for failure?
That’s why in order to set goals properly, there needs to be more than a couple of bullet points.
Behind every goal that you decide to set, you need to follow it up with an action plan and a deadline.
For example:
– Lose weight
→ by going to the gym 4 times a week
→ 5 pounds by the end of this month!

When you give yourself a plan to follow and a means of achieving success, you’re more likely to actually accomplish whatever you set your mind to! And having a deadline also puts a lot more pressure onto the goal and makes you work harder to achieve it.
I can’t stress enough how important it is to set goals for your life! Even if you aren’t working at your dream job right away, by giving yourself small achievable goals, the satisfaction of actually hitting them will propel you to move forwards and ensure that you won’t fall into a slump.

6. Relax!
Is it a little contradicting that I chose this point to follow my previous point?
As odd as this may sound, it’s important to remember that while you’re going through this period in your life you need to relax!
It’s a difficult time that you’re going through, your mind is going in a million different places at once, you feel a ton of peer pressure as you watch your friends and classmates hit milestones that you’ve always dreamed of through their social media boasting, and your family is constantly bombarding you with a never ending list of questions about your job and randomly as well, your love life (we’ve all been there!).
That’s a lot of things that you have to deal with at one time and waaay too much pressure for one person to handle!
So with all the pressure of the world on your shoulders, doesn’t it make sense to cut yourself some slack? Don’t let your own voice be another voice of criticism!

There are a variety of ways to relax:

– Pick up a hobby you love doing and that helps you relieve stress!  For me, it’s writing!
– Give yourself a mental day off: a day to lounge around in pj’s, eat junk food, and watch Netflix!
– Surround yourself with positive people: people who won’t bombard you with questions you don’t know the answers to, people who you can talk to when you’re confused, and people who make you feel uplifted just by being around them.
– Get away, physically! Travel! Go places you would never think of going, but be sure to go by yourself or with someone who won’t add any type of stress onto you.
– and last but not least…
Tell yourself it’s going to be okay! Life isn’t made to be rushing from one step to another, it isn’t a non stop flow of one job to the next, life is about being able to live! So don’t worry about things that have yet to come, don’t freak out about situations that didn’t happen in the way you have planned and just relax.

And with that note, I will leave you guys with this:
Image result for relax quotes
(Image source: Google)

Sorry about the extremely wordy post! I just felt it was necessary after being away for so long!


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